I Love This Memory

I posted this in an away message, but for some reason, I love this memory. Why wasn't he more forward? If you're trying to use euphemisms on a 6 year old, you're not gonna get far:

do you ever have memories where you look back, and say "Ohhhhhhhh... that's what they meant."



for some reason, I just randomly flashed back to when I was 6 years old and over at a friend's bday party. The kind where she invited everyone in the class, and we all got goody bags, like .25 watches that dont work, a pack of now and laters, etc. Well anyway, me being the genius I was, I hop on their piano. The grand piano. We're talking like $5k easy. In 1991 dollars. At 6 I had never heard a song I liked that wasn't about spiders crawling up a fucking spout. I had no idea what I was doing. I jump on and pretend like I'm Ray Charles, and jam the fk out.



Her dad comes up and says "Where'd you learn to play like that?"



Anyone over the age of 6 sees that as a sign to get the fk off the piano, homey's pissed.




I say:

"I'M JUST PRESSING KEYS, HOW AM I SO GOOD, LISTEN TO THIS!! I AM AMAZING!!!"



...some things never change...




And yes, I just remembered I had a blog. Feels like about 6 years since I started this. Weird.

A little perspective

Just a short story of what happened today that made me stop and think.

So I've been ultra stressed lately. Just a hard dose of reality. Was feeling a little down, while I dragged myself to my job (on a saturday) and tried to figure out my finances in my head, and what I wanted outta my job, etc. All the things that happen after the honeymoon period of a new job and a steady course of income has run its course.

Anyway as I was about at ropes end I was walking downtown Denver today, and was passing a normal intersection. I was passing this girl from the side, who looked about 27-28 and she was standing on the sidewalk facing the street, with a walk sign lit in front of her. Yet she wasn't moving an inch. I barely wondered what was going on, as I was walking too fast and thinking about too many different thinks to really soak in the situation. Well she must've heard me walking behind her, because she turned around. She had her seeing stick gripped tightly in her hands, and didn't make eye contact with me. She was completely blind. She was shaking and obviously scared.

"Exxx-- cuzze me..." she let out in a quiet, sad voice. My heart sank. She did not know if she could walk or not, and was worried she would get hit if she set foot on the street. I walked across the intersection with her, guiding her straight, and felt even worse for her when a bus honked its horn for no apparent reason, and she recoiled and looked on the virge of tears. When we got to the otherside, I pointed her the direction she wanted to go, as she told me she'd be all right. I wanted to do more, but I knew that she had no real reason to trust me, and it would be demeaning to her if I acted like she couldn't take care of herself. She was adamant she would be OK. I don't know how much I helped her in the long run, but she sure helped me think about the problems in my life and how good I actually have things. Just thinking about people like her and what she has to face everyday makes me wonder why I can't be more levelheaded about making ends meet with the blessings I've been given.

I hope she got to wherever she was going and is at home happy and completely content with the day's journey.

Dog owning uncle who's not going to the World Series

I'm getting my dog on Saturday! I won't be playing cards online for a while (my recent winnings are actually going to help pay for all the crap I need to do for him), and definitely won't be going out for a while, to be able to afford to get a puppy (not to mention due to training him), but he's already the most badass dog ever and I haven't even seen him yet. He fucking rules. And yeah, still sticking by the name "Daly." Which translates to "advisor" (read a few posts down to get the whole story on the name... although I just recently discovered "Daly" and "Daley" mean two different things, and "Daly" is the correct spelling). And if my parents give me any grief for getting a dog so soon (not that it's really their place), I can counter with this gem: OH YEAH?! WELL YOUR OTHER SON IS HAVING A CHILD! That's right kiddos, I'm going to be an uncle. How sweet ass sweet is that?! I'm going to spoil the hell outta that kid. Although the great part about being an uncle is that I don't have to change his diapers. And Daly's going to be like 17-18 lbs when he's full grown, so when he's potty training he's gonna take tiny shits. I hate cleaning up shits.

Btw, if you got World Series tickets, I hate you. You know how there were 8.5 million hits yesterday and however many million today for people trying to get tickets? Yeah my office was responsible for about 7 million of those. And no one in the office got tickets. I never saw this kind of rush for tickets when they were 10 games below .500. What gives?

Will post more later (especially after I get Daly), but for now I have to go to bed. Had a long day of accounting, with more of the same tomorrow.

(btw, I realize my blogs so far haven't been as good as they were this summer (when I was doing fuck-all all day). Trust me, once I get back in the swing of things, they'll return to the quality of "Job Interviews Make Me Hate Francis Ford Coppola." That was my favorite post so far. I'm funny.)

GOP debate

Ok, no surprise to anyone that knows me that I am a Republican. If you're a Democrat and make a comment that is anti-GOP than well I don't care, because you're wrong. But watching this debate, despite all the kiss-ass and what have you that is present in all debates from both parties, this was by far the best debate so far. And the thing is I respect the hell out of a lot of the men on that stage. Quite a few of them are not just a face that smiles for the camera and kisses babies, but are actually really respectable, GOOD men. McCain, Rudy, Mitt, Huckabee. Those are GOOD men. There is pretty much no question about that. But a good man does not always make the best president. So let's see how they did.

McCain: Very well. Most polls, news stations, hell probly other GOP sources will disagree. But he shows what a good man with a strong background can do. He stepped up his performance and I thought did awesome. He shows that yes he is for a troop surge (something that I 100% agree with, but is not inherently positive.) His exact quote: "I would rather lose an election than lose a war" shows why I like and support him and why he probly won't win, even if his election would be a great step for this country.

Rudy: Look, Rudy has had personal problems. And his "cell phone answer" the other day was grimace-worthy. And he is more left-wing than I am. But I realize that not everyone is as right-wing as I am. He would be great as a president. I truly believe that. He is showing why the Clinton getting a BJ from Monica was a big problem. And that is extremely ironic, but let me explain: Clinton lying about his personal life was representative of other problems from his administration. He was untruthful with the country, and basically fucked our military by being weak on people trying to kill us (pulling out of Mogadishu anyone?), why glossing it over and putting a pretty face on things by taking credit for stuff Reagan put in practice. He looked to please people while not actually trying to lead us in the right direction. And that's why (pre-cell phone call) I liked Rudy. He said basically, I fucked up in my personal life but that is not at all representative of how I would lead the country, and he showed that while he led NYC. His performance today was much better in that he showed that yes I am human (whereas he used to deny it), BUT I am a better leader than I have been in my personal life. I liked his performance, but it wasn't great enough to get elected.

Mitt: Mitt, Mitt, Mitt. You are my frontrunner. What happened man? You would probly be the best president of all the people running for president. You would be one of the best presidents of the past 20 years. But did get drunk last night? Are you hungover? What happened. I did not like Mitt's performance today. He almost fell into "Clinton syndrome" and just put a smiling face next to issues that require a real honest answer. I wasn't impressed with his performance. Though if he rebounds he will probly still be my frontrunner.

Huckabee: Oh, Huckabee. You win the debate tonight. You are what I would've been like tonight. But there is no way in fuck-all you will win vs. the "Inconvenient Truth" believing public that is the uneducated portion of the USA. I loved your answers and your poise and comfortability with difficult issues. You are a good man, and I salute you and wish you could be president, but it would never happen.



BTW, I about 95% of the time try to avoid political thoughts, and I apologize this slip up. But I felt like it needed to be said and next post I'll go back to the BS.

I want to be a bodyguard

You know I love my job. Actually scratch that I love the people I work with. My actual job blows. So I think I've decided on what my career path will ultimately be. I'm gonna start eating 7 steaks a day and living at the gym and "accidentally" taking some "designer steroids" from Barry Bonds' "trainer." I'm gonna be fucking huge. Like "holy shit I know my dick is shrunk from this shit but Jesus chicks dig muscles and I'm getting more ass than a proctologist" huge. Then I'm gonna be a bodyguard. No not a real bodyguard for a real celebrity, but rather a "bodyguard" for a C list celebrity. One of those celebrities that no one has told that "hey, no one is ever gonna try to mug you because the fat guy from Borat who ran around with his balls hanging out is more famous than you are" celebrity. Like a Surreal Life all-star type celebrity. Does Tiffany (the 80's pop star) have a bodyguard opening? Or is it Tiffani? Or tifani? I don't know, because NO ONE FUCKING KNOWS! BUT SHE FUCKING NEEDS ME AS HER BODYGUARD!



ok: serious note. I haven't updated on purpose. I've been coming home exhausted, and I'm barely at my place lately. So I'm exhausted when I am here and I'm worried that this blog might come across a little angry / whiny which is 100% not me or how everything is going. Tons of shit has happened that has made me laugh (the only shit I blog), but I've been worried it would suck in blog-form. I'm happy as shit lately and everything's going great, so a tired blog just won't do that justice. And the second I look at this blog and realize it's even coming close to being emo-esque, then fuck that I quit. So yeah, that explains the absence of me in the blog world. But I'll be back more regularly now that I've gotten settled.

Welcome to adulthood, me

Ok, so yeah big news since last post. Got my first real career type job. Super stoked, it feels like I just found out that Santa Claus is, in fact, real. That's how relieved / excited I am. Going to interviews and walking out knowing I screwed up was getting real, real old. Buuut, the job with the best opportunities / benefits / people is the one I landed. Almost exactly 24 hours after walking in the doors of this company (no not gonna mention them for obvious reasons), I had a job offer. Now that felt good. I'm the man. Ohhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhhh. Going to look for places to live tomorrow. Unfortunately they're not the 100,000 sq. ft. houses I know I deserve, but they're sick as hell none the same.

Brief newsy-post today, gotta get up early and start apartment hunting!



oh, and on a sad note: the dog I grew up with, and pretty much the greatest dog in the history of dogs is being put down this week. Totally sad. She lived a kickass 16.5 years, and yall that know me know how much I loved that dog. Anyway, yeah the world is losing an awesome dog in Jinger.

God I'm dumb

well had a job fair today. Laid out my suit last night, printed off shitloads of my resumes, and was all ready to schmooze it up. So I decide to last minute check the venue make sure I know where I'm going. Yeah, it ended at 2 pm, not started. Are you fucking kidding me?! By the time I find a parking spot I might be able to find some people walking out.

"HEY YOU LOOK OLD AND SUCCESSFUL! GIMME A JOB!"
"HEY WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER?! YOU KNOW, SO YOU CAN GIMME A JOB"

How did I do this? I checked the email like 14 times in the past week. But I'm dumb and probly like 95% dyslexic.

Somewhat unrelated, but a couple nights ago I couldn't sleep. I was in the beyond exhausted, delirious mode. I hopped on the computer, and wound up on guitar center's site. Yes, I applied for an $8 an hour job, as the drum guy..... They haven't called me back. I think I'm in that netherworld, where noone wants to hire a kid with a bachelor's degree for an hourly job, but also all the good jobs need experience and / or would be so mind numbing that the result would be me flipping out and going Chris Benoit style on everyone in sight. Gah.... I'm reminded of one of my favorite Calvin And Hobbes strips.
First panel: Calvin: I've decided I want to be a millionaire.
Second panel: Dad (mowing the lawn): That's great son, you better work hard and be really committed to achieve that goal.
Final panel: Calvin: Me? No, I want to inherit it. You better get to work, Dad.




Maybe I should just walk around in my suit all day giving random people the gun and the wink. That's always seemed to cheer me up. or the random miming a phone with your hand and mouthing "Call me" to random chicks that you know full well don't have your #.


P.S. Barry Bonds. Finally broke it. We all know he did steroids and those who don't admit it probly also believe the earth is flat and that Obama would be a good president. (Zing!). But that's not what I find most amusing. I think it's funny that we're talking about him being the greatest player, when he's shown that he destroys teams. The giants are 12 games out of first, and have the only losing record in their division. And this isn't a fluke. Barry has shown that he will not play for a team that puts its emphasis on winning, rather than on the Barry Bonds show. You can't honestly look me in the face and say you'd rather have someone like Barry Bonds than someone like Pudge Rodriguez or Magglio Ordonez (big ups to my Detroit Tigers, even if they have been in a slump recently, they'll bounce back). I thought the point of baseball was to win games, and Barry has shown that he resists winning. I do gotta admit, I like seeing him on my TV because his head is so literally huge and swollen that he looks like a blowpop. Fuckin' blowpops. I would always get the star on my wrapper and my mom would say "when I was young, I used to get a free one if I got a star." I tried that a couple times and the person behind the desk at Conoco laughed and said, "no, but they're only a nickel." "Oh yeah, well, you work at Conoco." 9 year old me was awesome.